Self Portrait
2018
H4’ W3’ D4’
Material: Used sex doll, Resin, Fumi’s hair
Concept: In Kanagawa prefecture, Japan, I visited a used sex doll company. There were many dolls that resembled dead bodies, placed in boxes and layered in cabinets. I saw a doll lying casually on a table. She had tiny scratches and sunburns, and parts of her body turned dark yellow. I identified with this doll—I felt like she was also me. After 32 years of my life, I also had a lot of permanent scars and spots. The doll was about $5,000 when she was new. Now her market price was just $400. The guy at the company told me that used dolls had to be less than half the price of brand-new dolls. Seeing myself in this used doll, I wondered: am I not worth same as a girl who is a virgin?
I made a sculpture using her as my self-portrait. I replaced the head of the sex doll with a sculpture I made of myself, with my own hair that I shaved last year in an attempt to flee from my obsession with feminine beauty and perfection. When I shaved my head, I wanted to give up being a trophy for men’s fantasies—which I defined arbitrarily as a woman with exotic make-up and long black hair. The sculpture is a way to mourn the superficial dreams of being a model Asian woman.
